6 Steps to Help Someone Get Out of a Flashback
Reviewed July 2026. Updated October 13, 2026.
Whether it’s a friend, relative, or partner, we sometimes find ourselves with someone who suddenly begins to experience the acute effects of trauma. This typically presents as sudden fear or panic, flashbacks, intrusive negative thoughts related to the trauma, or dissociative states where the person appears to “not really be there” anymore. Of course, these experiences may be frightening, confusing, and overwhelming for the person experiencing them, and they may also be for the person witnessing them as well. If you are in a relationship with someone who frequently experiences these symptoms in your presence, it may be beneficial and empowering to have a sense of what might be helpful for the person in that situation.
However, it is important to note that the purpose of this article is to highlight some quick and concrete strategies to help the person re-orient or “ground” during or after an acute trauma reaction, and it is not intended to imply that anyone in a personal relationship with another trauma survivor should take on the role of being an actual therapist. Think of the information in this article as a “first aid kit” for flashbacks: it’s to help you when you need it and should not be used in place of actual treatment from a trained professional.
What to Look For
These can be signs of a flashback, but they can also have other causes. This list cannot tell you what is happening. New, severe, or unexplained confusion or difficulty responding needs prompt medical assessment.
- Sudden difficulties communicating or responding
- Person seems disoriented
- Frozen, wide-eyed stare, clenched or fluttering eyes
- Inability to make eye contact
- Dysregulated, uncontrollable flood of emotions, such as crying, screaming, shaking (panic)
- Calling out for help, repeatedly saying “no” or trying to run away
- Curling into a fetal position or trying to hide
- Seemingly unaware of or disconnected from the present
- Making movements or gestures as if responding to something that is not really there
If someone is unconscious, is not breathing normally, has chest pain or a serious injury, or is in immediate danger, call 911. Do not assume it is a flashback or wait for grounding to work. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for suicide or mental-health crisis support, including when you are worried about someone else.
What to Do
1. DO NOT TOUCH someone (even a loved one) in an active flashback.
This may be extremely triggering for them and the physical touch may inadvertently be experienced as part of the traumatic memory/flashback. As they are starting to come out of it and are becoming more oriented, it’s ok to ask permission to touch them (for example, placing a hand on their shoulder, a safe embrace, or using touch to guide the person to a better location). If they say “no” or appear to shudder or recoil, respect this as an indication the person does not want to be touched at that time.
2. Do not ask them to talk about the flashback details.
It’s ok to ask if they are having a bad memory or if they feel like something bad is happening to them right now. It’s important to keep in mind that if a person is having a flashback, they are overwhelmed and flooded. This is not the time to try to get them to talk about anything related to the trauma. They need help coming back to the present moment, regulating their nervous system, and feeling safe again.
3. Orient to present time and surroundings.
Identify yourself and gently remind the person where they are and what day it is, even if they know you well. For example: “Laura, this is Sarah, your sister. You are here with me in your house in Florida. Today is [say the day and date].” Use facts you know are true. You can reassure them that they are safe when that is true; if there is still danger, focus on getting help and moving to safety if you can do so safely.
4. Use a warm, steady voice and offer simple prompts.
Ask them to listen to the sound of your voice. Give them time to respond, without insisting that they answer or make eye contact.
If they feel able, invite them to open their eyes and look around the room. Noticing the surroundings may help them reconnect with the present. Offer gently; if a prompt increases distress, stop and try another approach they find helpful.
You might ask them to name a few colors or objects they see, or notice something nearby that feels comforting, such as a favorite blanket or piece of jewelry. Let them choose whether to hold it or describe it.
If it is comfortable for them, invite the person to place both feet on the floor. I like to ask people to wiggle their toes, gently press their heels into the floor, and notice what it feels like to be supported by the ground beneath them.
5. Repeat grounding phrases if they help.
Continue in a warm, steady voice, allowing pauses. Use words that fit the person’s age and circumstances, and only say what you know is true. You might say:
- “You are here with me now.”
- “We are in [the current location]. Today is [the day and date].”
- “I am here to help. We can take our time.”
If you know they are safe, you can say so. Avoid promising that nobody can hurt them or assuming the danger is over.
6. Offer breathing or sensory grounding if they want to try it.
If the person wants to try breathing with you, model gentle, slow breaths at a comfortable pace. There is no need to take large breaths or reach a particular count. If focusing on breathing makes them more distressed or dizzy, stop and return to something outside the body, such as noticing the room around them.
Another option is to notice five things they can see, four they can feel, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste. They do not need to use every sense or finish the exercise. Ask what feels helpful, and skip anything uncomfortable or upsetting. A familiar blanket or noticing the feel of a chair may be enough.
Key Points to Keep in Mind
- Be warm and consistent.
- Be calm and patient, and allow time to respond.
- Do not push. Stop or change an approach if it increases distress.
- Repeat a helpful reminder gently, with pauses, rather than giving repeated commands.
- Once the person is fully out of the experience, you can ask the person for feedback about what was helpful and what wasn’t. Make a plan for next time and please follow up with professional help if needed.
If flashbacks are happening often or feel unmanageable, trauma-focused treatment can address the memories that drive them. Our EMDR therapy page describes one of the approaches our clinicians use to help the nervous system reprocess what it has been carrying.
Questions people ask
What should I not do when someone is having a flashback?
Do not touch someone during an active flashback or press them to describe the trauma. As they become more oriented, ask permission before offering touch and respect a no or any sign of discomfort. Avoid forcing eye contact, breathing exercises, or other grounding prompts. Stop or change an approach if it increases distress.
How do I ground someone during a flashback?
Use a calm, steady voice and offer true reminders of who you are, where they are, and the date. If they feel able, invite them to look around, name a few objects, or notice their feet on the floor. Give them time, and stop or change a prompt if it increases distress. Grounding does not replace emergency medical help when it is needed.